6 Serious Reasons Why Unmarried and Married Couples Should Openly Talk About Money
Communication is very important in every relationship, especially in a romantic relationship. Without it, you can neither enter into one nor keep yours strong. Among couples, talking with each other is part of the whole process of building a loving connection and sustaining it. From the getting-to-know stage to the building-a-family to the together-forever stage, communication is essential. And what every couple must remember is that this sort of communication is not always just about fun and romance. Especially for young people who are committing themselves to a relationship, they should know that fundamental life matters must also be part of conversations. Said matters include antalya kepez escort money.
Why is it that some couples seem afraid to discuss their finances? Why is it that some find it awkward to do so? This is probably common among unmarried couples or those who are still in the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, yet even some married couples experience such. Well, the possible cause is that it’s a topic that some people are not comfortable talking about for various reasons, like feelings of insecurity, shyness, insufficiency and pride among many others. Every couple who faces a fear or an awkwardness of money talks has a unique reason for sure.
Nonetheless, do not neglect the fact that you and your significant other should overcome the barrier that hinders you and many other couples out there to express your thoughts about money. This is more determinative than most people actually realize. To prove that further, here are 6 serious reasons why unmarried and married couples should openly talk about money. Seriously, this is a must-read and a must-share piece!
1 – In married life, finances go from “mine” and “yours” to “ours”.
Marriage is the union of a man and a woman, committing to a lifetime relationship of love and loyalty. The main keyword is “union”. When a man and a woman get married, they become one. That’s what will happen to you and the person you will marry. That’s what has happened to you and your spouse when you got married. The two become one. From singleness, you step into togetherness, which becomes oneness.
Indeed, there are personal things and possessions that each of you keeps, however, there are more things that become your mutual property. Needless to say, money is one of those. Though you may have your personal bank account, you also have your joint funds. It’s non-negotiable; it’s a relationship thing, most particularly for married couples.
In married life, finances go from “mine” and “yours” to “ours”. Wages and profits? Typically, both of you receive and have a say, even if it’s the other’s. Home bills and family expenses? Both of you have contributions, and that’s not even an option. Debts? They belong to you too, like you become each other’s automatic guarantor.
Talk about money, so you can make agreements regarding your finances. Regardless of whether both of you are employed or not, this is a must. If you own a business, clarify your terms. Determine who’s in charge of this and that. Marriage is not just about owning the same surnames. It includes owning the same money too.
2 – You need to be honest about your financial situations.
Honesty is a requirement in relationships. There’s no way you two are going to last for a lifetime without honesty. And in the best policy, money is also a substantial respect to cover.
Talk about money because you need to be honest about your financial situations. Do not pretend that you are fully financially able and stable if you are not. That’s pride without proof, and that’s dangerous for your partner and for your family who’s expecting that you really can provide for them or at least help them.
Conversations about money will help fortify your relationship because you become open not only about your financial strengths and potentials but also about your weaknesses and lacks. The moment you express the latter with truth is a moment of strength. It paves way for you and your partner, together with your children, to support and encourage one another.
3 – Money is a basic need of the family.
For sure, money cannot buy happiness, peace of mind, love and other intangible things needed in life, but real talk, money is a basic need of the family and generally, of humans. It must be openly discussed by you and your better half because as you live together and create a family, money is a must to provide and live a pleasant life.
You need money to buy or rent a house, to buy food for everyday, clothing, transportation, to pay bills and many more. You need money to let your kids study in good schools. It’s amazing how parents do these and more for their family, and this just proves how money is absolutely an indispensable matter to talk about.
4 – In reality, money is an important part of the couple’s/family’s goals.
You cannot enter a romantic relationship only for affection. Look forward to attaining goals together and making dreams happen alongside each other. As you establish your loving relationship, you establish your dreams too.
You want to live in your dream house, start up a profitable business, let your kids enroll in prestigious universities, travel around the world for leisure, and live a comfortable life. Perhaps, you have professions you want to individually pursue or continue. There could be interests and hobbies you want to learn and excel in for your personal growth. You have hopes after retirement too. All in all, you have goals as individuals, as a couple and as a family.
It’s heartwarming to weave dreams, then to see them materialize in the future after working hard to reach them. Yes, working hard is part of the ride unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. And yes, money plays a vital role in touching down your aspirations. That’s what reality displays, and it’s very important to talk about money, so you can work together as a squad to fulfill these yearnings together.
5 – Financial discussions let couples know each other better and help the relationship grow.
Learning about your significant other involves learning their outlooks on money matters. In getting to know about each other, this is helpful, so you will discover and understand a portion of the kind of person that he/she is. Even when you’ve been married for years, you can and will still learn a lot from your spouse.
Financial discussions let couples know each other better and help the relationship grow. You can be each other’s financial mentor when it comes to aspects and viewpoints that need improvement, like in saving, spending and sharing. In that way, you are doing your relationship a long-term favor.
6 – Money is one of the roots of marriage conflicts.
Communicate about money because it’s been widely proven and recorded in various histories that money is one of the roots of marriage conflicts. Surf the net, and search for lists about the common causes of breakups and separations; finances are commonly on the high ranks.
That’s because more often than not, misunderstandings about money lead to grave arguments and disputes that lead to terrible endings. They could be due to mishandled financial difficulties, unfair contributions to and distributions of wealth, family business issues, gambling problems, and many more. Soon, lawyers and legal help will be contacted.
Talk about finances with your better half, so you can settle what needs to be settled and prevent damages that may result in misery towards your relationship and family.
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MARRIAGE & MONEY
The list above says no lie at all. Money is truly one of the most consequential elements in a romantic relationship. As you love each other, of course, you aim for the both of you to reach your goals and dreams, which include an abundant financial life. Although most romantic dramas do not greatly highlight that, in reality, you cannot merely live with love alone. You also need money, finances, resources, for you and your better half to have a good life in general, including the phase where you start your own family. It’s inevitable. That’s how things work in real life – money is a basic need that needs to be talked about.
Before you commit to a relationship and get married, clarify your standpoints about finances. And in the middle of your married life, you will naturally experience how money is a subject that cannot be left behind in a couple’s conversations.
Though there are legal specifications and relationship modifications between them, being married is different from being unmarried. Nevertheless, for both, money must be part of couples’ honest and open communication.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Nicole Ann Pore is a writer, an events host and a voice over artist. Quality and well-researched writing is her worthwhile avenue to enlighten and delight others about things that matter. She is a daytime writer for Adams Lawyers, a team of professionals that offer well-rounded service for all legal needs. Nicole graduated Cum Laude from De La Salle University Manila, Philippines with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Arts.
